Twinkle, twinkle little star
don't ever lose ur sweetness
If only I could make it last
save that childhood innocence
Perfection, simplicity, will power
and pure content
who would have thought
we'd grow into what we are?
If I had a magic wand
I'd stop you where you are
Make you mine forever more
savour your cuteness and
cherish your every hour
but life must grow
and time passes by
To linger on dreams
is a fools endless game
CatXx
Monday, 11 January 2010
Starve Me 23/1/02
I'm thin
But not thin enough
Starve me
so it stops
I don't want to carry on
Starve me
some more
I don't want to live on
Starve me
and I'll stay
I wont ever go back
I'll remember the day
when I smiled
Those sweet childhood dreams
when I knew who I was
and where I was going
Just starve me
and starve me
so I'll never forget.
Cat Xx
But not thin enough
Starve me
so it stops
I don't want to carry on
Starve me
some more
I don't want to live on
Starve me
and I'll stay
I wont ever go back
I'll remember the day
when I smiled
Those sweet childhood dreams
when I knew who I was
and where I was going
Just starve me
and starve me
so I'll never forget.
Cat Xx
Slip Away 14/9/02
I've cried
an ocean full of sadness
I've been
lower than the bugs beneath me
I've been told
ten lifetimes worth of lies
but every time
I found my ladder
and rose again
A strength
I sometimes wish
I never had
Sometimes
I wish I could give up
Just to fall asleep
and not wake up
To quench the flame
and leave it be
To walk away
and never look back.
Cat Xx
an ocean full of sadness
I've been
lower than the bugs beneath me
I've been told
ten lifetimes worth of lies
but every time
I found my ladder
and rose again
A strength
I sometimes wish
I never had
Sometimes
I wish I could give up
Just to fall asleep
and not wake up
To quench the flame
and leave it be
To walk away
and never look back.
Cat Xx
Security 10/3/03
I know it's not forever
but I need it just for now
I know it's going to end
but I can't let it go
I wont let it go
It's what I feel inside
and I know the feeling is mutual
when it ends I wont be scarred
because it never really started
Everyone understands
Not one person doesn't know
There are those who lock it up
wont let it show
As if to protect the lie they live
but even they break down and cry
when they're alone and safe inside
I will be safe
and I will survive.
Cat Xx
but I need it just for now
I know it's going to end
but I can't let it go
I wont let it go
It's what I feel inside
and I know the feeling is mutual
when it ends I wont be scarred
because it never really started
Everyone understands
Not one person doesn't know
There are those who lock it up
wont let it show
As if to protect the lie they live
but even they break down and cry
when they're alone and safe inside
I will be safe
and I will survive.
Cat Xx
Scared to see 27/9/02
My memory escapes me
though I know I had a point
It's not as though I'm anxious
but i'd rather not forget.
It was something wise and valid
but it ran through like a sieve,
my memory escapes me
though I know I had a point.
If I stood alone and pondered
maybe I could find a path
that would wind it's way
to the memory
that I lost along the way.
Cat Xx
though I know I had a point
It's not as though I'm anxious
but i'd rather not forget.
It was something wise and valid
but it ran through like a sieve,
my memory escapes me
though I know I had a point.
If I stood alone and pondered
maybe I could find a path
that would wind it's way
to the memory
that I lost along the way.
Cat Xx
Paralised 7/10/02
It comes all too soon but expected
With the sound of wood hitting wood
My eyes close and all my hatred boils
up inside me
Scenes of pure evil fill my mind
Never before have I been driven so far
from the sanity I surround myself in
Feeling something I'm sure only few
will feel in their lifetimes
yet I know I will feel it again
Every cell of every part of me
possessed like a daemon
wishing death and torture like never before
Why can't we tell?
Why do I run from freedom, the chance to let go?
Sinking like a stone in thick gravy
I bury my soul
but I'm ready to seep outwards when the time arises
If and when
Cat Xx
With the sound of wood hitting wood
My eyes close and all my hatred boils
up inside me
Scenes of pure evil fill my mind
Never before have I been driven so far
from the sanity I surround myself in
Feeling something I'm sure only few
will feel in their lifetimes
yet I know I will feel it again
Every cell of every part of me
possessed like a daemon
wishing death and torture like never before
Why can't we tell?
Why do I run from freedom, the chance to let go?
Sinking like a stone in thick gravy
I bury my soul
but I'm ready to seep outwards when the time arises
If and when
Cat Xx
More sorry than you know 11/01/08
Muster up all that hatred you feel,
tie it tight in a pretty bow
and say goodbye.
Taste the salt as it runs over your lips,
genuine or not, people will believe.
To lose is to let go.
I have what I need and more,
I have everything to lose.
Risk is not my game.
Solitude is not my story.
Something keeps me apart
but I will always keep it together.
Cat xx
tie it tight in a pretty bow
and say goodbye.
Taste the salt as it runs over your lips,
genuine or not, people will believe.
To lose is to let go.
I have what I need and more,
I have everything to lose.
Risk is not my game.
Solitude is not my story.
Something keeps me apart
but I will always keep it together.
Cat xx
Saturday, 9 January 2010
Just Words 5/12/06
When I feel like
I'm on a roundabout
going so fast I can't even
see the world pass by,
words are my friend.
When I look in the mirror
and I can't find a smile,
words will save me.
When I'm so outnumbered
by my thoughts that
the one's I love
think I don't care,
words will surround me.
When all I can be is me
words will take control.
I am forever at their mercy.
Cat Xx
I'm on a roundabout
going so fast I can't even
see the world pass by,
words are my friend.
When I look in the mirror
and I can't find a smile,
words will save me.
When I'm so outnumbered
by my thoughts that
the one's I love
think I don't care,
words will surround me.
When all I can be is me
words will take control.
I am forever at their mercy.
Cat Xx
28 feb 2007
let it out
Help me
So much better
Feeling clean
like I have some substance
but no matter how I keep control
Feed healthy addictions
Stay in touch
have endless patience with my nagging mind
A storm will take me
Drown me
and spit me out
this is not poetry
just negetivity
The only way I can smile for free
without that dragging afterbirth
my body tries so hard to hold onto
Just to make sure I understand
that I am fake
that I have feelings,fears
I need to resolve
So scared
I begin to wonder
how I ever got this far
How did I know where to go,
what to do?
I hate what I expell
but if I left it there I would hate myself.
Stop.
Help me
So much better
Feeling clean
like I have some substance
but no matter how I keep control
Feed healthy addictions
Stay in touch
have endless patience with my nagging mind
A storm will take me
Drown me
and spit me out
this is not poetry
just negetivity
The only way I can smile for free
without that dragging afterbirth
my body tries so hard to hold onto
Just to make sure I understand
that I am fake
that I have feelings,fears
I need to resolve
So scared
I begin to wonder
how I ever got this far
How did I know where to go,
what to do?
I hate what I expell
but if I left it there I would hate myself.
Stop.
Dumb
I sit and stare into space
praying that one day
maybe I could understand
the simple things in life
I try so hard
but I cant get it through
to the spongelike creature
inside my head
For now,
I just sit on the face of the earth
like an ugly rock
Can't breath, can't move,
Can't speak, can't think.
Not human
Just dumb
Cat Xx
praying that one day
maybe I could understand
the simple things in life
I try so hard
but I cant get it through
to the spongelike creature
inside my head
For now,
I just sit on the face of the earth
like an ugly rock
Can't breath, can't move,
Can't speak, can't think.
Not human
Just dumb
Cat Xx
Breaking Bars
Sliding, slithering, slowly tumbling
Rattling, reeling, rolling, rumbling
Back to the place I used to love
and hated much too soon.
Misty messages begin to clear
and barriers of fear are crumbling
But I still touch on the brakes
if only to be in control of the past
not moving too fast.
The bubbles keep on spinning
but, in my mind, I am winning
I know I can find it
just don't know what then
what if it fills me with sickness again?
Maybe I should stop, go back
keep the colours away
save them for a rainy day
when I can wash the waste away.
Sadness will be in the gutter
and smiling wont be just a cover.
Cat Xx
Rattling, reeling, rolling, rumbling
Back to the place I used to love
and hated much too soon.
Misty messages begin to clear
and barriers of fear are crumbling
But I still touch on the brakes
if only to be in control of the past
not moving too fast.
The bubbles keep on spinning
but, in my mind, I am winning
I know I can find it
just don't know what then
what if it fills me with sickness again?
Maybe I should stop, go back
keep the colours away
save them for a rainy day
when I can wash the waste away.
Sadness will be in the gutter
and smiling wont be just a cover.
Cat Xx
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